Thinking back on my childhood, I was always more interested in playing teacher than mommy. That said, I still thought about how many kids I’d have, picked out their names, and imagined the type of mom I’d be. The older I got, though, the more I realized that having a kid involved way more than I’d imagined. My mom’s job as a social worker gave me a front-row seat to how getting pregnant can completely change your life. She worked with teenage moms in high school, taking them to doctor’s appointments, helping them get baby clothes, formula, and diapers, and listening to the inevitable baby momma drama. These girls went from worrying about grades to worrying about WIC. While some of them went on to be incredible parents, watching them struggle was something I knew I never wanted for myself.

I was 16 when I first thought, I don’t want children. I didn’t really talk about it to anyone during college, but when I became a flight attendant, people started asking if I had or wanted kids. By then, I was pretty outspoken and confident about my decision. Getting rebaptized at 23 had emboldened me in my faith, and that boldness spilled into every other part of my life. Of course, I got all the classic “bingos”: “You’ll change your mind” (Hmm, I’ve felt this way for 10 years now), or “Who will take care of you when you’re old?” (If God allows me to get old, I’m planning on being taken care of by the well-trained staff at a nice nursing home or a live-in nurse, thanks to solid financial planning).

When I was 25, I came across a story on Humans of New York that resonated deeply with the kind of person I wanted to be in others’ lives.

Joanna was an inspiration to me. Mohammed’s father clearly loved him, but Joanna stepped into his life in a way they weren’t able to at the time. It made me realize that, while I never wanted to raise children, helping the next generation was something that felt right up my alley.

Now, I’m 34. My childfree life has settled in, and my faith has steadily matured. Over the past 18 years, through all my conversations with God, I’ve experienced Him leading me out of certain relationships, into new careers, and through countless circumstances—but never toward a desire to have children. If anything, my list of reasons why motherhood isn’t for me could probably be turned into a short story by now.

That said, I do love people. I love helping them, hearing their stories, and supporting them however I can. I feel like the freedom I have allows God to lead me to adults who can learn from me. That’s one of the reasons I enjoy helping others with their finances so much. When I met my brother-in-law’s girlfriend, she had lost everything in a hurricane and was living paycheck to paycheck, trying to save $20 from each check. The progress we’ve made in just two months has been incredible! You can read her financial overhaul in SINK Success: Thriving Financially on a Low Income [coming soon].

Parents pour themselves out for their children—and rightfully so. But I enjoy pouring myself out in a different way.

Thanks for reading a story from Childfree Christians—choosing joy, purpose, and a whole lot of freedom.